The fault in our Newtmas
by shuckinminewt
Summary: Newtmas TFIOS au. This will follow the general plot of TFIOS, but with Newt & Thomas. Rated M for sexual content in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Story line is John Green's, characters are Dashner's.**

**Some of this story will follow TFIOS and some of it will be original. There's also some random Looking for Alaska in here. Hope you enjoy!**

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**Newt:**

"You need to make some friends honey" his mom said.

Newt rolled his eyes and groaned. "Mom please don't make me get out of this car" he said.

"Your father and I are worried that you're depressed" she said "so we want you to talk about with people in your situation. But if you would just open up to us and tell us how you-"

"See ya mum" Newt said as he got out of the car and rolled his oxygen behind him. He walked into the church basement and sat down in an empty chair. Newt glanced around the room and took in the scene. It was full of people who seemed just as unhappy to be there as he was, which really wasn't surprising. Everyone there was either dying or had somehow managed to survive the hell that is cancer.

He continued to scan the room, but an Asian boy sitting across from Newt caught his eye. The boy smiled and waved briefly with three fingers before leaning over and whispering something to the boy sitting next to him. Newt looked at the boy that was being whispered to, and his jaw practically dropped. The boy was tall and thin, but still muscular. He had brown hair and wore a confident smirk on his perfect face. After scanning the boy's body his eyes finally rested on the boy's face, only to find the boy was already staring at him.

Newt felt his face heat up and he looked away. Luckily, Kevin, the guy who ran this support group, started talking. He went on and on about his cancer survivor story, and Newt found it difficult to to focus on anything he was saying. He glanced over at the brunette boy and saw he was still staring at Newt. He met the boy's eyes and they both held the stare. _Well I can't look away now_ he thought. Newt raised his eyebrows at the boy and the boy smirked in response, still not breaking the stare.

"Thomas?" Kevin said "would you like to share your fears?"

Newt realized the boy must be named Thomas because he jumped and broke the stare when Kevin spoke. The boy, Thomas, regained his composure as he stood up and cleared his throat.

"I fear... Never getting out of the labyrinth" he said.

Before he could help himself, Newt snorted drawing attention to himself. "What is 'the labyrinth' supposed to be?"

"The labyrinth of suffering" Thomas said, as if it was obvious. "How will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?"

Newt stared at him. _What is he talking about? _The Asian boy spoke up and answered the question. "Straight and fast" he said, as though he'd told Thomas this answer a million times.

Thomas looked at his friend and nodded knowingly. "Indeed my friend" Thomas said.

* * *

After the meeting Newt stood in the parking lot waiting for his mom. He stared over at Thomas, his friend, and some girl he didn't recognize. Thomas's friend and the girl suddenly morphed into one being and started sucking face. Thomas turned away and rolled his eyes. He noticed Newt and walked over to him. Newt fiddled awkwardly with his cannula. _Now would be a good time for my lungs not to suck at being lungs. God, this thing is so embarrassing._

"Hey" Thomas said as he got close to Newt.

Newt nodded. "Hi" he said.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Newt"

Thomas smiled. "Newt.. I like it" he said "is it short for something?"

"Yea.. Newton" he said awkwardly "but I really prefer Newt."

"Newt it is then" he said. "I'm Thomas, in case you didn't pick that up."

Newt nodded. "Yea, I got it" he said. An awkward silence filled the air, and they both stared at Thomas's friend and the girl as they mauled each other. The Asian boy squeezed the girl's boob so harshly he thought it might fall off. "That can't feel good" Newt said.

Thomas laughed. "Yea... That's Minho" he said. "Anyways you wanna hang out?"

Newt stared at him, not knowing how to react to the random turn in the conversation. "What?" he asked.

"I said, do you wanna hang out?" Thomas said as he smirked at Newt.

"I barely know you" Newt said, but a smile crept onto his face.

"So?" Thomas said. "You're cute and British. And it's my goal to enjoy the simple things in life, like cute British boys, so do you wanna hang out?"

Newt's every instinct told him to say no, but just then his mom drove up and said "hi honey!" Her face lit up when she saw Thomas, "did you make a friend?"

"Uh- yea mum I did" he said as he took a deep breath and glanced at Thomas. "And we're guna hang out so.. I'll be home later."

His mom gave him a shocked face. "Oh- alright. Well, have fun" she said.

"I will," he said "don't worry."

* * *

Newt flew forward as Thomas slammed on the brakes. "Oops" he said "sorry bout that."

He pushed himself off the dashboard of Thomas's truck."Did you even pass your bloody driving test?" Newt asked.

"Um- kind of" Thomas said. "I failed, but I told the instructor that it's hard to drive since I lost my leg, which is true by the way, and she uh- fudged my score a little."

Newt snorted. "Cancer perk" he said.

"Total cancer perk" Thomas said with a smile, as he swerved to avoid a parked car.

"This is how I'm going to die" Newt said "not cancer, this car ride will be the death of me."

Thomas laughed. "Slim it will ya" he said as he pulled into a driveway. "See? We made it and we're not dead."

"There are miracles after all" Newt said.

Thomas just rolled his eyes and got out of the car. Newt followed Thomas into the house. It was a small house, but it was nice and felt homey. It smelt like chocolate chip cookies and Newt felt like curling up on the floor right there and staying forever. A woman walked into the hallway and smiled. "Hi Thomas, who's your friend?" she asked.

"This is Newt and we're going down stairs" he said as he pulled on Newt's arm.

"Okay honey well have fun" she said as Thomas lead Newt down the stairs into the basement. He carried his oxygen down the stairs, and found himself out of breath by the time they made it to the couch. He took deep breaths and breathed in his oxygen.

"Are you okay?" Thomas asked as he placed a hand on Newt's shoulder.

"Yea" he said between breaths "its- just- the- stairs- are- hard."

"I'm sorry," he said "we should've stayed upstairs."

Newt's breathing finally returned to something resembling normal. "It's fine" he said "just needed a moment."

"Okay" Thomas said.

Newt glanced around the room. The whole basement had been finished and turned into a room for Thomas. The couch they were sitting on was across from a giant tv surrounded by shelves filled with basketball trophies. Thomas's gigantic bed was in the other corner of the room. The walls surrounding Thomas's bed had built in bookshelves completely filled with books. "Have you read all of those?" Newt asked.

"Shuck no" Thomas said. "But I bought them all back when I first got diagnosed. I couldn't really play basketball anymore so I went to a bunch of garage sales and bought everything that seemed interesting. I'll get through them eventually."

Newt smiled. "That's fantastic" he said.

"So what's your story?" Thomas asked.

"I was diagnosed like 7 years ago and pretty much been terminal since the beginning. My remission's actually kind of a miracle, or at least that's what my parents say" Newt said.

Thomas nodded and said "so what's your _real _story?"

"I just told you" he said.

"No, you told me your cancer story. What's _your _story?" Thomas asked.

"I don't know" Newt said "cancer's kind of my whole life."

"Shuck that" Thomas said "there's more to you than this stupid disease. Come on, there's got to be something."

"Well.. um..." Newt said feeling himself blush, "don't laugh but I memorize last words."

"Last words? Like what people say right before they die?" he asked and Newt nodded. Thomas laughed, "that's so morbid! Is your whole life about death?"

"It's not like that!" Newt said, "it's about making an impression, about going out with a bang, about being remembered."

Thomas smiled. "Well you're definitely making an impression on me" he said. Newt smiled and blushed, _does he really think that?_ "So," Thomas said "how bout a movie? The Breakfast Club's on demand."

"Sounds good" Newt said. Thomas turned on the TV and settled on the couch right next to Newt, he was so close their sides were touching and their thighs pressed against each other. Newt felt his heart speed up as Thomas reached over and placed his hand in Newt's, interlacing their fingers. Newt glanced over at Thomas who was staring at the TV, smiling and blushing.

Newt found himself enjoying Thomas's presence way more than he had planned, and it scared him a little. _I can't do this to him, _he thought.

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**Hope ya liked it! :) I'll be updating soon so lemme know what you think! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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Two days after they hung out the first time, Thomas called Newt and invited him over for another movie night. Newt happily accepted, but he opted to drive himself this time in the interest of not dying.

When he got there, he intentionally placed his hands so Thomas couldn't hold them. It was his lame attempt distance himself romantically from Thomas. He had a feeling it wouldn't work, he'd only known Thomas three days and he was already falling hard. But he couldn't get involved with him, it wasn't fair to Thomas.

An hour into the movie, Minho came pounding down the stairs, stomping with every step. "Don't knock or anything" Thomas mumbled so only Newt can hear.

"BRENDA DUMPED ME" he yelled. Minho came over, grabbed the pillow Newt was leaning on, yanked it out from under Newt, and chucked it at the wall. "Hey Newt" he said briefly before yelling "SHE SAID SHE CAN'T HANDLE ME LOOSING MY VISION! I'M GOING BLIND AND _SHE _CAN'T HANDLE IT!"

Minho grabbed another pillow and threw it. Newt felt incredibly uncomfortable, like he was invading on a personal moment. He barely knew Minho. They seemed to get along fine, he just wasn't entirely sure they were at the hang-around-during-mental-breakdown level.

"Maybe I should go..." Newt said.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH" Minho yelled as he looked around for something to throw.

Thomas walked over and grabbed a trophy off his shelf. "Here smash this" he said. "and um- does Newt make this better or worse?"

Minho smashed the trophy against the coffee table and yelled between smashes. "I- DON'T- CARE!"

Thomas looked at Newt and shrugged. Minho grabbed another trophy and looked at Thomas for permission, and Thomas nodded.

As Minho smashed the trophy, Newt looked to Thomas. "Do you really not care about him destroying those trophies?"

Thomas shrugged. "They're just a stupid reminder of my life before" he said.

Newt looked at him and their eyes locked for moment. Newt wanted to reach out to him, touch him, kiss him, but then Minho let out a yell and smashed another trophy causing them both to jump and brake the stare.

Minho broke a trophy in half and collapsed on the ground, trying to hide his tears. "Why does love have to suck so much?" he muttered.

Newt and Thomas glanced at each other. _Good question, _he thought.

* * *

The next day, Newt laid in his bed binge watching Friends, when his phone rang. He glanced at the screen and saw Thomas was calling him. "Hello?" he said into his phone.

"Hey, do you wanna go for a walk in the park?" Thomas asked.

"A walk Tommy?" Newt asked "I can hardly breathe and you've got one leg."

"Well it's not really a walk, more of a picnic" Thomas said. "Don't you worry, I know how to plan a date."

"Date? I thought we were just friends" Newt said.

"_You're _just friends. I'm in it for more" Thomas said casually. "Anyways are you up for it?"

"Yea I guess" Newt said.

"Good, cuz I'm in your driveway" he said, and Newt couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright, I'll be down in a-" he was cut off by a knock on his front door. He smiled and hung up the phone. Newt climbed out of bed and dragged his oxygen to the living room where Thomas was talking to Newt's parents.

Thomas was wearing jeans and a button down shirt, which made him look incredibly handsome. He was also holding a bouquet of flowers. Thomas smiled when he saw Newt and held up the flowers.

"Tommy" Newt said.

"Slim it and take the flowers" he said.

Newt rolled his eyes and grabbed the flowers. "Thanks" he muttered.

"I'll put these in a vase" Newt's mom said as she grabbed the flowers.

"We're guna head out so..." Newt said.

His mom gave him a dramatic look before pulling him into a hug. "Just have fun okay?" she said. "And um.. be safe."

"MUM" Newt said, his face burning red.

"I'm just saying honey" she said. Newt grabbed Thomas's arm and pulled him out of the house.

* * *

Apparently 'a walk in the park' meant setting up a picnic in the most secluded part of the woods humanly possible. They sat there, munching on sandwiches and sipping cans of soda.

"I like this spot" Thomas said. "Not just cuz it's secluded and good for making out" he winked at Newt before continuing, "I just like the way the light comes through the trees. You look really good in this lighting."

Newt blushed. "Tommy-"

"I also like you calling me Tommy"

"_Thomas _I- we- we can't be together. I'm a grenade, and one day I'm going to explode and I want to minimize the casualties" Newt said.

Thomas simply rolled his eyes. "I like you Newt, and your attempts to distance yourself from me in no way lowers my affection for you."

"I'm not kidding around" Newt said. "I'm going to die, there's no if. I _am _going to die."

Thomas stared at him for a long moment before leaning in closer to Newt. Every instinct told Newt to pull away, not to let Thomas kiss him, but for some reason he couldn't do it. Thomas's lips met his and Newt's insides exploded. It was sweet and lovely and perfect in every way.

Thomas pulled away and whispered, "It'd be my honor to be your causality."

* * *

They lied there for a while, after they'd finished eating, just staring at the sky. They talked about everything and nothing. Newt was 100% sure he'd never had so much fun.

"Can I tell you something embarrassing?" Newt asked.

"Course" Thomas said.

"This is technically my first date" he said. He glanced at Thomas and saw a smile creep onto his face.

"So this _is _a date?" Thomas said.

Newt leaned over and punched Thomas's arm. "Slim it" he said.

Thomas laughed. "That's not embarrassing" Thomas said. "It's no big deal."

"Please" Newt said "how many different people have you dated?"

"One" Thomas said, and Newt's jaw practically dropped. Thomas good looking, like _really_ good looking, Newt had figured he dated _a lot_ of people.

"Seriously?" Newt said.

"Seriously. This girl, she was my best friend in junior high and dating her seemed like the right thing to do so I did" he said, "her name was Teresa, and she was great. Our relationship was fine and all, but eventually I figured out I didn't like her _that _way so I broke it off and told her I'm gay. She understood and we're still friends. The point is I've never dated any guys till now. The whole cancer thing made it difficult to pick up guys."

Newt was surprised, and oddly happy to know Thomas hadn't dated anyone else. "Yea, I've noticed" he said. "So.. you're a virgin?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Thomas laughed and sat up. He grabbed a stick and drew a circle in the dirt, and a small circle outside of the bigger one. "This here represents guys who've had sex" he said as he pointed at the big circle, "and this here represents 17 year old dudes with one leg" he said with a laugh as he pointed at the smaller circle.

Newt laughed. "Well that circle also includes 18 year old dudes with crappy lungs" he said.

Thomas smiled and stared into Newt's eyes. Tension filled the moment and both boys leaned in to close the gap. Their lips met and Newt's eyes fluttered closed. They tangled their hands in each other's hair and leaned back down so they were lying down.

They moved their lips against each other's and Thomas slipped his tongue into Newt's mouth. Newt followed Thomas's lead pressed his tongue against Thomas's.

Thomas moved his hand from Newt's hair to his chest. He felt Thomas's hands roam over his chest and make their way down to his waist. A hand slipped under Newt's t-shirt and laid flat on his stomach.

Newt's heart was beating so fast he thought it might explode out of his chest. Newt moved his hands so they were on Thomas's back. He continued to follow Thomas's lead and placed his hands under Thomas's shirt. He let his hands roam over Thomas's back and felt every muscle in his back.

After what seemed like forever, Thomas pulled away. "Newt," he breathed. His lips were pink and swollen, they were both breathing hard. "We should get going."

Newt stared at him. "Or we could stay here" Newt mumbled before kissing Thomas once again.

Thomas kissed him back, but pulled away again. "Shuck Newt, you're making this so hard" he said. Thomas took a deep breath and said "I wanna take this slow. You and me, I want to really enjoy it. Every step of the way."

Newt smiled, "so do I Tommy" he said.

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**Hope ya liked it! I'll try and update soon, please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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The next week was the best of Newt's life. He hung out with Thomas almost everyday and he couldn't help but admit he was falling hard for Thomas.

So here he was, sitting on Thomas's couch watching Friends with Thomas's arms wrapped around him. "All I'm saying" Thomas said "is that they _were _on a break."

Newt rolled his eyes. "It's still cheating!" he said.

Thomas laughed. "Luckily for you, I would never do that to you" Thomas said "mostly cuz I have no game, but also because cheating is wrong and all that."

Newt snorted. "Please, you have game" he said. "All that _you're cute and British. And it's my goal to enjoy the simple things in life, like cute British boys._"

"Um here's the thing.. I spent the entire support group thinking up that line and I really didn't expect it to work" Thomas said his face turning red.

Newt burst out laughing before he could stop himself, "I'm sorry" he said between laughs "I totally had you pegged for a smooth stud and now you've crushed that image."

Thomas smirked. "It's best you know who I really am," he said "an awkward slinthead who happened to get lucky enough to land a cute British boy." Newt blushed and Thomas leaned over to kiss him.

Newt pulled away and said "you've definitely got game." Thomas laughed before kissing Newt again. This time, Newt had no intention of pulling away.

Thomas leaned into the kiss and tangled his hands in Newt's hair. Suddenly, Newt couldn't stand the lack of contact anymore and turned Thomas so they were lying sideways on the couch, Newt on top of Thomas. He shifted his legs so he was straddling Thomas. Newt broke away from the kiss and started to suck on Thomas's neck. Newt surprised himself with how forward he was being, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Shuck Newt" Thomas breathed, as he moved his hands and slipped them under Newt's shirt. Newt thought his heart was beating so hard it would explode out of his chest, he longed for more contact so he ground his hips against Thomas's, and a moan escaped Thomas's lips that Newt found incredibly hot. _Am I really doing this to him? Does he want me as much I want him? _The bulge in Thomas's pants answered the question. Newt ground his hardness against Thomas's, and moaned against his skin.

Thomas pulled on Newt's shirt and Newt sat up and tried to take off his shirt, but it got tangled in his cannula. "Oh bloody shucking..." he mumbled as he struggled to get his shirt over his head.

Thomas laughed and Newt's face turned red. He finally got his shirt off and stared down at Thomas, who was smiling and scanning Newt's chest. Suddenly, all confidence drained from Newt. He glanced at his own chest. He was skinny from years of chemo and there were scars scattered across his chest from countless surgeries and chest tubes, the worst of all being the giant vertical scar going down his abdomen.

Thomas stared and almost reached to put his shirt back on when Thomas lifted his hand and brought it to Newt's chest. He lightly traced each scar with his fingers, lastly he traced the largest one, only he continued down his stomach when the scar stopped. He traced all the way down Newt's stomach and stopped when he reached Newt's belt buckle. Thomas's glance traveled up from Newt's stomach and met his eyes. Thomas smiled awkwardly and said, in a small voice, "how are you so perfect?"

Newt's face burned red. "I'm not" he said.

Thomas looked into Newt's eyes and smiled. "You're right" he said "you're flawed in the best possible way, just like me." Suddenly Newt couldn't stand the distance between them any longer so he leaned down and kissed Thomas briefly before pulling away just long enough for Thomas to discard his shirt. Newt pressed himself close against Thomas and took in the skin to skin contact.

Thomas wrapped his arms around Newt and his hands wandered over Newt's back. They ground their bodies against each other's and Thomas's hands traveled down Newt's back and stopped briefly on the small of his back before moving to Newt's ass. Thomas's hands squeezed and pulled Newt closer, he thought he might explode right then and there.

Newt's thoughts were everywhere, all he could think about was the feeling of Thomas's skin against his, how he could feel Thomas's heart beating fast and hard, how Thomas's lips moved against his and he was entirely sure he'd never felt so good in his life.

Newt was about to build up the courage to do what he _really _wanted to, when they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Newt sat up and turned his head to see Minho and some girl that he assumed was Teresa, standing at the bottom of the stairs, staring at them. _Great, this is just bloody great. Hmm how should I make a good impression on Thomas's friends? Have them walk in on me shirtless and straddling him. Great. So bloody great._

Thomas sat up breathing hard, his hands still on Newt's ass. Minho let out a long whistle and the girl broke out in laughter. "_Can't. You. Knock?" _Thomas said, each word sounding angrier.

"Sorry" Minho said between laughs "don't normally have to worry about walking in on you shucking some-"

"We weren't doing _that" _Thomas said. Newt took the opportunity to climb off Thomas and struggle through putting his shirt back on. He willed the tent in his pants to disappear, the last thing he needed was for Thomas's friends to get close enough to see his predicament.

"Yea, cuz we walked in" Minho said "if ya want we can just go and you guys can finish..." Minho raised his eyebrows and took a step back.

"Slim it" Thomas said. "Besides, you've totally ruined the mood" he mumbled and everyone laughed. Thomas reached for his shirt and tugged it over his head. "Why are you here anyways?"

"I just wanted to come see my bestest friend while I still can" Minho said as he came over and sat down on the couch. "You know today's my last day of sight before they chop my eyeball out."

"I know, that's why you were coming over _later" _Thomas said.

"Slim it Thomas you can make out with lover-boy later" the girl said as she walked over to Newt and stuck out her hand. "I'm Teresa by the way."

"Newt" he said as he shook her hand.

"I know" she said as she glanced at Thomas "this slinthead won't shut up about you."

Thomas blushed, "slim it" he said.

"No, it's true" Minho said. "You should hear him, _'oh Newt's so great, he's so funny and cute and I wanna marry him and have a million British cancer babies with him.' _Makes me sick."

Thomas leaned over and punched Minho in the arm. "I did _not _say that" he said.

"I paraphrased" Minho said. "Anyways, I decided we're going to spend my last day of sight the best way humanly possible."

"And how's that?" Thomas asked.

"Going camping and getting wasted" Minho said, as if it was the obvious answer.

Newt stared at him. "_That's _what you consider the best way humanly possible?"

"Sure is" Minho said. "So pack your sleepin' bag Newt cuz you're coming with us. Us four are hiking to makeout-point and pitching a tent for the night."

"Makeout-point? Tommy is that where we went last week?" Newt asked, and Thomas bit his lip and avoided Newt's eyes. "Tommy, did you take me to a place called makeout-point for our first date?"

"Um... maybe" Thomas mumbled. Newt hit him in the chest and Thomas started laughing. "Well it worked, didn't it?"

Newt rolled his eyes and blushed. Thomas leaned over and pecked him on the cheek. "Alright you two, your love makes me sick" Minho said, "we're leaving in half an hour so get ready."

Newt glanced at Thomas who shrugged. "You up for a night of camping?" Thomas asked.

"Why not?" Newt said and Thomas smiled.

Thomas pecked Newt on the lips and said "trust me, I have a feeling tonight's guna be a great night."

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**Hope ya liked this chapter :) Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**This chapter's got a bit more Looking for Alaska than TFIOS but I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Newt sat on the ground next to Thomas. Minho and Teresa were across from them, and Minho was downing a bottle of disgusting strawberry wine. Teresa had brought a few bottles of it, and for some reason she liked it, but Newt thought it tasted like acid. Minho on the other hand, didn't seem to have any problems with it considering he was already a quarter through a bottle.

Thomas seemed to be enjoying the wine too, he was chugging straight from the bottle. Thomas scooted over closer to Newt and wrapped his arm around him. He tilted the bottle toward Newt and Newt grabbed it and took a sip. It burned as it went down and he shook his head. "That's bloody disgusting" Newt said.

Thomas laughed and laid his head down on Newt's shoulder. "I think it's good" he mumbled.

Thomas grabbed for the bottle, but Newt held it out of his reach. "I think you've had enough" he said.

"Well you haven't" Thomas said as he put his hand over Newt's on the bottle and lifted it to Newt's lips. Newt took another swig.

Minho took another long swig too and hiccuped. "Let's play a game" he said.

"Okay, what game?" Teresa asked.

"Best day, worst day" Minho said.

"Never heard of it" Thomas said.

"That's cuz I just made it up" Minho said. "Everyone tells the story of their worst day, and then their best day. Whoever's story is the best wins, everyone else drinks."

Teresa snorted. "You guys are a bunch of cancer kids, I'm so guna lose this game" she said.

"Pretty much" Minho said "so you can go first with your worst day."

Teresa rolled her eyes and told a depressing story about her dad leaving when she was a kid, and then downed some strawberry wine. When she finished she turned to Minho, "you're turn."

"Isn't it kind of obvious?" Minho said "worst day's tomorrow when I go blind. I'll be left with nothing. No sight, no girlfriend. Utterly alo- OW." Minho's rambling was interrupted by a granola bar hitting him in the head. "What the shuck Thomas?"

"You're not alone shuckface" he said. "I'm here, I've always been here."

Minho stared at Thomas and mumbled something that sounded like "you won't always be."

Newt glanced at Thomas, "what is he talking about?" he asked.

Thomas looked away from Newt and shrugged. "Shuck if I know, he's drunk" he said before taking another swig. "It's your turn Newt."

"Worst day... One day, my lungs filled with water, as they do, and I was rushed to the hospital. It was the closest I ever came to dying, the doctors didn't think I would make it through the night. It hurt worse than anything I'd ever experienced, but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was when my parents came to see me. My mum was crying and holding my hand, she said it was okay if I wanted to go, if I couldn't hold on any longer. But then she broke down and said 'I'm not going to be mother anymore' and it crushed me. I wanted to give up, but I couldn't do that to my mum. I couldn't stand the idea of leaving her childless, because we all know the only thing worse than biting it from cancer is having a kid bite it from cancer."

When Newt finished, everyone was silent and staring. Newt grabbed the bottle and took a swig. "It's your turn Tommy" he said.

He glanced at Thomas, and his eyes were full of pain. Newt kind of felt like he was hiding something from him, but he couldn't figure out what. Thomas took a deep breath and said "my worst day hasn't happened yet, but I can tell you what it will be." He took a breath and rubbed his eyes before continuing. "It's guna be when me and Newt... can't be together anymore."

"You mean when I die" Newt said.

Thomas stared at the fire, tears were threatening to spill over his eyelids. "Yea... yea that's what I mean" he said in a shakey voice.

"Tommy..." Newt started, but Thomas shook his head and took a long drink of strawberry wine.

"Minho looses" Thomas said "for being a slinthead and saying he's alone. Now best day. Go."

Minho rolled his eyes and chugged. "Best day" he said "was the day Thomas, Teresa, and me pulled that prank on the nurses at the hospital." Minho went on to tell the most ridiculous story Newt had ever heard, that consisted of stealing scrubs and sneaking into an OR.

Everyone was laughing hard by the end of the story. "Shuck Minho you stole my story" Teresa said.

"We can share" Minho said as he looked over at Teresa and wiggled his eyebrows. Teresa rolled her eyes and blushed. "Newt, what's your best day?"

"Don't laugh at me if I say today" Newt said "I've never really had friends before, they all seemed scared of my cancer, as if I'd infect them or something. But now I have a boyfriend and I think you guys are my friends."

"Course you do" Minho said.

Newt smiled and hoped it was dark enough no one would notice how much he was blushing. "Tommy, what's your best day?" he asked.

"Day I met you" he said before leaning down and kissing Newt on the lips.

There was a collective _booooo_ coming from Teresa and Minho. "Thomas that was cheesy, you loose" Minho said "Newt wins because being friends with me always wins."

"Whatever man" Thomas said before taking a swig of his wine. "I'm ready to hit the sack."

"Me too" Minho said, he turned and raised his eyebrows at Teresa. "Well there's only two tents and we can't separate the love birds so I guess we'll have to share... And if it gets too cold you can climb into my sleeping bag and I'll keep ya warm."

Teresa rolled her eyes and punched Minho in the arm. "I liked you better when you had a girlfriend" she said "so I'll be staying in my own sleeping bag thank you very much."

"I know, I'm just kidding" Minho said, but then he turned to Thomas and Newt and shot them a wink.

They both laughed before getting up and stumbling over towards the tent. They were both drunk and exhausted. The two boys collapsed into the tent and Thomas pulled Newt close to him. He wrapped his arms tight around Newt and nuzzled his face up to Newt's ear. "I think I'm falling in love with you" he whispered into Newt's ear, each word sent a spike of energy through his body.

"Tommy" Newt said in small voice "we've only known each other two weeks."

"Are you saying you don't feel it too?" Thomas said, his voice all too knowing.

Newt didn't know how to respond, the words seemed to be stuck in his throat. In honesty, he was scared to say the three words he knew he felt. As if he said them out loud they would be snatched from him. Nothing so good in his life ever seemed to last. The only thing he could think to do was turn his head and kiss Thomas.

Thomas wrapped his arms around Newt and rolled Newt on top of him. This time, Newt didn't waste any time. He removed his cannula briefly before taking off his shirt. Thomas stared up at him and smiled. "Shuck Newt" he said before taking off his own shirt. Newt took his hand and ran it down Thomas's chest. It was surprisingly defined for someone who'd beaten cancer only a few years ago.

Newt leaned down and sucked on Thomas's neck. Thomas's hands wandered over Newt's back before landing on his ass. Newt ground his hips on Thomas's, he wanted Thomas _so _badly. He was completely sure he'd never wanted something so badly. He gripped Thomas's shoulders and ground his hardness against Thomas's. Thomas pressed his body against Newt's and moaned. "Newt.." he breathed.

_There's no way he doesn't want this as badly as I do. _Newt broke away from Thomas's neck and sat up. He stared down at Thomas for a brief moment before running his hand down Thomas's chest, only he didn't stop. He got to Thomas's belt buckle and started to undo it. "Newt.. Are you sure?" Thomas asked. Newt met Thomas's eyes and smiled. He was breathing hard and his eyes were full of lust.

"Slim it Tommy" Newt said before unbuttoning Thomas's pants. He slipped his hand in Thomas's pants started to rub Thomas over the thin fabric of his boxers.

Thomas groaned and Newt slipped his hand under Thomas's boxers and started to rub harder. He'd never done this before, but he tried his best to do to Thomas what felt good when he did it to himself. Apparently, it worked because Thomas was breathing hard and groaning, his eyes squeezed shut and his hands digging into Newt's ass.

Newt had never seen anything so shucking hot.

He pulled his hand out from Thomas's boxers, Thomas groaned and his eyes shot open. "Newt?" Thomas pleaded, sounding like a child who'd just gotten their candy taken away. Newt just smirked and yanked Thomas's pants. He pulled at the waist band of his boxers and exposed Thomas's hardened member. Newt took a deep breath and leaned down before taking Thomas in his mouth. Thomas let out a long "ooohhh Newt."

Newt was nervous, he wasn't entirely sure what to do. He'd only read about stuff like this, but he bobbed his head and swirled his tongue. Thomas tangled his hands in Newt's hair and groaned. "Shuck, Newt I'm- I'm guna- mmmm" before he could finish his sentence he _finished. _Thomas groaned loudly and filled Newt's mouth with hot liquid. When he was done, Newt sat up and wiped his chin.

Thomas stared at him and smiled. "Shucking hell" he breathed. He reached up and put his hands on Newt's face before pulling him close and kissing him. He immediately started to work on Newt's pants.

Thomas slipped his hand into Newt's pants and started to rub him. "Tommy" Newt moaned, he knew right then and there he wouldn't last long. Thomas rubbed him fast and hard and Newt ground his nails into Thomas's shoulders. "Tommy I- mm" he groaned as he bucked his hips into Thomas's hand. Newt tried his hardest to last, but he was breathing so hard it was getting difficult for him to breath. Not to mention his entire body was screaming for a release.

"Go ahead, Newt" Thomas said, his voice jagged and deep. _Well, that'll do it. _He lost control and came into Thomas's hand.

Afterwards, he collapsed onto Thomas. They were both breathing hard and covered in sweat. Thomas wrapped his arms around Newt and held him tight. Newt had never felt so safe and content in his entire life. A lot of things were screwed up and unfair, but at least he had Thomas, and that was enough for him.

"I love you Tommy" he said.

"I love you too" Thomas said. With that, they both drifted to sleep, holding each other tight.

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**This chapter got a bit long, but I hope you enjoyed it. Please tell me your thoughts and review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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"WAKE UP SLINTHEADS."

Newt groaned against Thomas's chest. "Well good bloody morning Tommy" he mumbled.

Thomas laughed. "Good mor-" he started but was cut off by Minho yelling "I SAID WAKE UP SLINTHEADS."

"We're up shuckface" Thomas said loud enough for Minho to hear. They pulled on their shirts and crawled out of the tent. Minho and Teresa were munching on Poptarts and juice boxes.

They went over and sat down next to them and Newt grabbed a Poptart. "Mornin'" Thomas mumbled.

Minho raised his eyebrows and smirked. "Morning" he said "you two have a good night?"

Thomas took a giant bite of his Poptart. "Yea I guess" he said "we just went straight to sleep."

At that, Teresa and Minho burst out laughing. Newt felt his face burn red. Thomas stared at them, confused. "Wha?" he mumbled through a mouth full of food.

"Tom," Teresa started "even if there wasn't a giant hickey on your neck, along with nail marks on your shoulders, we could hear you. Tent walls aren't too thick."

Thomas's eyes got big and his face burned red. He grabbed his shirt collar and pulled it to hide the marks on his shoulders, but it was useless to try and hide the giant hickey on his neck. "Wha- I- um" Thomas rambled.

"_Oh Newt, ohhh shuck Neeewt_" Minho moaned in a surprisingly accurate impression of Thomas.

"Slim it!" Thomas yelled as he threw a Poptart at Minho.

Minho just deflected it and laughed. "I'm just glad our Thomas here is finally getting some" Minho said "we were starting to get worried he'd die a virgin."

Newt's face was blushing so hard he thought his face might catch fire any moment. Thomas buried his face in his hands and mumbled "I hate you guys."

"You love us" Teresa said.

"If you guys are done, we should head back home" Thomas said, his face starting to return to normal.

"Alright shank," Minho said "I gotta go get my eyeballs chopped off."

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The next week was amazing. Thomas spent all his free time with Minho, Newt, or both. But eventually, the paradise came crashing down.

They sat in Thomas's basement and Minho was once again smashing Thomas's old basketball trophies. He seemed to be experiencing yet another mental breakdown, apparently Brenda had gotten a new boyfriend and Minho didn't take it too well. Teresa stood next to him, directing where to smash the trophies.

"I. HATE. HER. SO. MUCH." he yelled between smashes.

"Minho calm down, it's guna be okay" Thomas said. He put his hand on Minho's shoulder, he'd been trying to calm down Minho for an hour, but everything Thomas said just seemed to infuriate him even more.

"STOP!" Minho yelled. "_You _of all people c_annot _tell me it's guna be okay!"

Thomas's face fell. Newt stared at him, _what is Minho talking about?_

"Minho- I-" Thomas started, but Minho cut him off.

"No!" he said, tears streaming down his face. "You can't keep pretending Thomas! _I _can't keep pretending that I'm not going to loose _everything_!"

"_Minho. Stop." _Thomas said, he sounded desperate.

"Tom, he's right" Teresa said.

"Tommy, what are they talking about?" Newt said.

"Nothing" Thomas said in small voice.

"Tell him!" Minho yelled. Thomas stared at the ground, tears in his eyes.

Teresa grabbed Minho's arm. "Come on Min," she said "we need to let them talk, and you need to calm down." Minho seemed to melt into Teresa's touch, like he deflated. All the anger and fight leaked out of his body, and Teresa lead him upstairs.

Newt stared at Thomas, but Thomas wouldn't meet his gaze. "Tommy" Newt said, in a small voice.

"Newt, I-" Thomas said "I should have told you a while ago... But I didn't want to ruin everything."

Newt felt his heartbeat quicken, his chest felt tight. Tears swelled in Thomas's eyes. "I- I went to get the normal check up, ya know, PET scan and everything... and- and.." His voice shook with every word.

"No..." Newt said, hardly a whisper. "No."

"Newt... I lit up like a Christmas tree" Thomas said, and Newt's world collapsed.

"No!" Newt practically yelled.

Thomas stepped closer to Newt and put a hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry- I..." he said, but the words seemed caught in his throat.

Newt closed his eyes and a tear fell down his cheek. He took a deep breath. "You- you just have to start chemo then?" Newt said, his voice shaking. It was a stupid question, he knew the answer. If Thomas had had this diagnosis for a week and hasn't started chemo yet, he knew what that meant. He _knew, _but he needed to hear Thomas say the words.

Thomas shook his head. "Newt" he said in a whisper.

"Say it Tommy" Newt said.

Thomas took a deep breath and said "it's in my liver and my heart and everywhere... It's... there's no point in chemo Newt. It would just make me feel worse, I don't want to die that way."

"How long?" Newt asked.

"Few months, maybe" Thomas said.

Newt's chest felt tight, he couldn't breath. "No, Tommy" he said as tears fell down his face. "Tommy this isn't right... You're not supposed to be the one that dies. You're supposed to live. You're supposed to be the love of my life, you _can't _leave me!" Newt yelled, he realized he was becoming hysterical, but he couldn't stop. "This isn't right! Tommy you can't do this to me!" He smacked Thomas's chest and tried to push him away, but Thomas grabbed his wrists.

"Newt, stop! Please!" he said as tears fell down his cheeks.

Newt collapsed against Thomas's chest, no longer having the will to fight. Suddenly, he couldn't form thoughts anymore. He couldn't speak or think or stand or do anything other than sob into Thomas's chest. Thomas half lead half carried Newt to his bed, where they climbed in with each other. Thomas held him and Newt clutched to his chest, and they both sobbed.

They stayed like this for a long time, and Newt found it impossible to consider leaving Thomas's arms. _This can't be happening, _Newt thought. _I can't survive with out him._

Suddenly, he need to be closer to Thomas. Needed to touch him, feel him, be_ with _him while he still can.

He sat up and pulled his shirt off and pulled at Thomas's. "Newt, I-" Thomas started, but Newt cut him off by kissing him, hard.

"Please, Tommy please" Newt whispered, and Thomas stared at him for long moment before nodding. He lifted his shirt off as Newt worked on removing Thomas's jeans. When he got them off, Newt found himself staring at Thomas's prosthetic.

Thomas blushed. "I um- I know it's weird. If you want me to leave it on or put my jeans back on I can" he said.

Newt rolled his eyes and kissed Thomas briefly on the lips. "Get over yourself" Newt said, and Thomas smiled before taking off the prosthetic. Newt slipped off his own jeans and climbed onto Thomas's lap.

Their mouths found each other's and they ground their bodies against each other. They ran their hands all over each other, and soon enough Newt couldn't wait any longer. He hooked his thumbs under the waistband of Thomas's boxers and pulled off of him. As soon as they were off Thomas did the same with Newt's boxers.

"Are you sure?" Thomas asked, and Newt simply nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too Tommy" Newt said, and Thomas flipped him over so Newt was lying on his stomach. Thomas began kissing his shoulder as he slipped a finger into Newt. Newt let out a low groan and Thomas added another finger.

He moved them around for a while until Newt was squirming under him and moaning. "C'mon Tommy" he groaned. "I want you, now" he breathed.

"I want you too" Thomas said as he positioned himself at Newt's entrance. He kissed Newt's neck once more before pushing himself inside. "Is this okay?" he asked.

Newt let out a long breath as he got used to the feeling. "Yes" he said "keep going."

Thomas started to move inside of Newt, and Newt arched his back and groaned. "Tommy" he breathed.

"Aw shuck Newt" Thomas groaned as he started to move faster. He reached around and started to stroke Newt and Newt moaned his name in response.

Both boys knew they wouldn't last long, and before long Thomas was moaning Newt's name as he came into Newt. A moment later, Newt did the same as he clutched the bed sheets and groaned.

Afterwards, Thomas pulled Newt into his arms and they lie there, holding each other, completely exhausted. "Was that okay?" Thomas asked as he traced circles on Newt's back.

"It was perfect" Newt said as he bit back tears.

He glanced up at Thomas to see his eyes were watery too. "It's not supposed to be like this" Thomas whispered.

"I know" Newt whispered back.

"I want more time with you" Thomas said. "I want forever. I want an infinity."

"So do I" Newt said. "But our infinity's being cut short, for what reason I don't bloody know. But I do know this," he kissed Thomas briefly on the lips before finishing. "I am so grateful for our little infinity."

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**Oh my heart. /3 Hope you liked this chapter even though it ripped out my soul. Also please don't kill me for the Please Tommy Please part, I had to do it! Please review and tell me what you thought!**


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